


The Strings That Tie To You

by ceciliasheplin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bittersweet, Breastfeeding, Breeding Kink, Canonical Age Difference, Canonical Character Death, Character Development, Childbirth, Consensual Somnophilia, Depression, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Drunk Driving, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Finn calls Rey peanut, Food play (kissing), Force Bond (Star Wars), Foster Siblings, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Jealousy between siblings, Masturbation, Mention of cops, Obsession, Past Murder, Past Suicide Attempt, Penis In Vagina Sex, Planned Pregnancy, Porn with Feelings, Poverty, Pregnancy, Prison, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Reylo Baby, Shameless Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships, background stormpilot, grandma Leia, implied soulmates, mention of cults, mention of homelessness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29832291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/pseuds/ceciliasheplin
Summary: The Force connects modern Rey and Ben, but Ben is in prison for having committed a terrible crime. This is the story of their lives during the ten years after the bond connects for the first time.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 44
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags, notably Suicide Attempt, Prison, Obsession, Unhealthy Relationships and Pregnancy (planned).
> 
> I will always add the TW on the beginning of each chapter and there will be a more detailed note about the Suicide Attempt when the chapter comes.  
> The wonderful [LexiRayne2187](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiRayne2187/pseuds/LexiRayne2187) was kind enough to be the sensitive reader for this fic. She was crucial in helping me treat this delicate subject responsibly. I did not take this lightly.
> 
> There’s no conversation about safe sex. Just pretend that in this fictional world, there are no STDs or unplanned pregnancies. Rey will only get pregnant when she wants to and that’s by the end of the fic. Don’t get your sex-ed from fanfic, kids.
> 
> Ben’s crime is similar to canon. And there’s a lot of talk about prison and murder as well as grief and regret. He’s a total sad boy in this fic. Also, Rey is incredibly selfish and angry and has abandonment issues. They will unintentionally hurt each other during the story.
> 
> Everything will be okay in the end, even if the road to get there is a hard and bittersweet one.
> 
> Last but not least, thank you to [QueenOfCarrotFlowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfCarrotFlowers/pseuds/QueenOfCarrotFlowers) for the beta and [HarpiaHarpyja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarpiaHarpyja/pseuds/HarpiaHarpyja) for the brainstorming!
> 
> This fic was a labour of love. I hope you like it.
> 
> CW for ch 1: Jealousy between siblings, Masturbation

The heat is merciless.

Rey laments having to work on this sunny Saturday in this stifling, smelly garage with these assholes, but Unkar Plutt pays her better than bartending or waitressing, so she endures both the awful man (men) and work conditions. 

Besides, she loves her machines. If she could afford an education, she would definitely study mechanics or something along those lines. She gets such huge satisfaction of seeing disparate parts come together and just… work. And no matter how complicated a machine is, there’s always a reason why it isn’t functional, and so far she’s always found the answer. So to her, they’re simple, easy to explain. It’s never a mystery for too long. Unlike her own state of mind.

She inhales slowly, deeply uncomfortable, wiping the sweat from her brows.

There’s a feeling in the pit of her stomach. It begins small but it grows steadily, until it becomes too strong to ignore. Like a pull of a magnet. Like a beckoning calling home. Like a string tied to her waist that insistently tugs and she wants to follow.

And she lifts her gaze.

A man is standing in the middle of the empty street, under the hard sun. He is tall and broad, pale skin and raven hair. He is wearing strange clothes, especially for this kind of weather: light blue cotton pants and a long sleeved buttoned up shirt with a white undershirt. He should be sweating under the awful heat but he isn’t, he looks impossibly comfortable in his attire. And he awkwardly stands there, mouth agape and wide-eyed, staring at her as if she were a ghost.

Normally, she would close off her expression, in hopes the guy would take the hint and fuck off.

But his face is so familiar, it’s like she knows him. And yet she’s never seen him in her life.

Time seems to slow down and close in around them.

The pull intensifies and she stands up, staring at him. Startled, he slightly recoils and his mouth trembles, but his intense eyes hold her gaze. They are haunted and deep, filled with emotions she can’t describe but she feels every single one of them. She wants to come closer and examine his fascinating face better, the alabaster skin contrasting so strongly with jet black hair and red lips so full and plump, she unconsciously licks her own.

“Girl!”

She turns around to the hateful figure of her boss calling her.

“What?” She spits.

“I’m not paying you to daydream!” He barks. “Get back to work.”

She narrows her eyes in annoyance and represses a growl. Not dignifying him with an answer, she turns back to lean over the engine and cables she needs to work on.

But when she looks at the street again, the man is gone.

She stares at the empty space he just occupied, her heart racing and her skin even hotter than it was before. The feeling in her belly fizzles out and it’s replaced by an emptiness that gnaws at her, like a hunger that can’t be sated.

She busies herself with her work, her mind elsewhere, lost in images of raven hair and full lips.

By the time Finn comes to pick her up, she realizes she’s gone through the day without a lunch break. Her stomach growls loudly as she takes the passenger seat.

Finn laughs. “You okay there, peanut?”

Rey forces a smile. “Yeah, I just… got distracted and forgot to eat.”

“Forgot to eat?” Finn repeats with a breathy laugh, genuinely surprised. “You? Forgot to eat?”

Rey sighs and her smile disappears, revealing her sour expression.

“Hey,” Finn turns to her while they wait for the green light at an intersection. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She replies, trying to relax her voice.

“Alright, don’t tell me,” he says teasingly, but when she doesn’t react, his grin disappears too, even if his tone is still light. “Can I interest you in a homemade meal then? Poe’s cooking tonight and we’d love to have you over. You can finally meet the new plants.”

Rey’s mood sours completely. She would love to see the plants but she doesn’t have the energy to spend a whole evening pretending she likes Poe and that everything is okay.

“If you say you don’t want to be the third wheel again I’ll kill you.” He says jokingly before she can think of a convincing answer.

“No, I...” she says, goosebumps making her scratch her arms. “I’m really tired… I just want to go home.”

“Okay,” he says, his tone a tad defensive. “No worries.”

There’s a pause where Finn sighs. “I miss you, you know?” He continues. “Just because I have a boyfriend now, it doesn't mean you're not my sister anymore.”

The conflicting emotions blurring her mind intensify and she actually considers jumping out of the moving car.

She’s usually good at diverting the subject through a convincing smile or excuse, but not today.

Thankfully Finn doesn’t press the matter. She only has to endure the silence, weighing heavily between them now.

They pull over in front of her apartment.

“I’m sorry, Finn...” She begins but trails off, unsure what to say.

“It’s okay, peanut,” Finn says wearily. “Go get some rest.”

“Thank you,” she says and she hates how small her voice sounds. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Finn says a little too dryly and it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

She watches Finn’s car turn a corner and disappear, leaving her completely alone in the empty street.

Instead of climbing up the stairs to her apartment, she unlocks the side door of the warehouse where her car is parked with the other junk. She affectionately slides her hand over the hood of her dear broken down car. She thanks it secretly; the task of fixing it is the only thing able to distract her lately.

However, nothing can keep her mind off the feeling that’s still fluttering around in the pit of her stomach, from when she saw that guy. It’s not unpleasant, on the contrary, it’s a comfort for once. And her heart welcomes it.

She works on her car for an hour; she’s replaced the battery and now it’s only a matter of cleaning out the rust from the outside of the carburetor. She can’t wait to be able to drive to the overlook again.

“Soon, baby, soon.” She says to it, patting the hood after she closes it with a loud thud.

The building under her apartment has been empty for a while, just like most things in this part of town. The only sound on this Saturday evening is her feet dragging her up the stairs.

She turns the key.

The sun is setting and reaching deep across the living room and into the kitchen.

Her apartment is spacious, for the price she pays, which is not a lot. She can afford it even with Finn gone. The brick walls and industrial windows would fulfill the wildest dreams of the most hardcore hipster; the shitty neighbourhood, not so much.

Rey fills a cup with water and takes a few gulps while the watering can fills up.

First, she waters a monstera that she saved from a dumpster last week. Its foliage has already grown so much; she admires the baby leaves that were all curled up and are now unraveling and seeking the sunlight.

She turns to the other big one she owns but doesn’t know the name. It’s taller than her and only has a few large leaves that span at least two palms each.

She finishes her tour watering the plants in Finn’s old bedroom, which has more plants than any other room in the house.

Rey rubs her chest, now regretting having said no to Finn. Maybe she should have gone, made an effort…

Strawberry jam over a white bread is all she can stomach and she eats it while drawing a bath.

She pours in the salt and some bubble bath. Stripping to her skin, she steps in and settles into the tepid water. It relaxes her body completely, pulling a long moan from her throat, the fatigue of the day being washed away.

But when she closes her eyes, she sees dark ones along with pale skin and raven hair. How tall was that guy? He was big, at least 6 feet. She bets he could manhandle her until she’s wet enough for him to fuck her, but he wouldn’t, not yet, he would lick her pussy first, make her come once, maybe twice with two, maybe three fingers buried inside her. Then he would fuck her nice and hard. She’d let him come wherever he wanted.

She comes on her fingers in the water, biting her lips and quietly moaning through her nose.

Strange clothes, those light blue ones, she thinks afterwards. And why wasn’t he sweating at all? A guy that size under that sun?

Those dark eyes. She’s seen them before. Except she hasn’t.

She stays there until her hands and feet have pruned completely and the water goes cold. She has to convince her body to cooperate after being so comfortable suspended in the water.

Going through her nightly routine as fast as she can, she plops in her bed under the feeble ceiling fan, naked, thinking about big, soft hands all over her body.

˜*˜

Sunday, she goes to the park in a desperate attempt to avoid her empty apartment.

She has her phone in her hand with an unread text from Finn inviting her for brunch from three hours ago.

She can’t afford it, anyway. And Finn would make a fuss about paying for her and oh god Poe probably would too and that would be just perfect.

There are birds everywhere and a lot of people have come to see them. It annoys her that they feed the animals even though there are signs everywhere saying you’re not supposed to because otherwise you’ll create dependent birds or something.

She feels like an idiot, sitting here at the park completely alone, watching birds.

The feeling in her stomach tugs again. She gasps and her eyes scan around her until they land on a figure standing only a few meters from her.

Same clothes from yesterday, same stunned expression.

Rey gets up. A violent thrill runs up her spine and she shivers despite the summer heat. The string pulls her to him again. The strangeness and power of it all could have alarmed her but all she can think about is his warm brown eyes.

They stare at each other for a moment until she finds her words again.

“Who are you?” She asks in a whisper.

“How…” His voice is like velvet, soft and comforting. And the flutter in her chest is so familiar, like she recognizes the way he sounds. “How are you here?”

Her brows furrow. “What do you mean?”

His mouth opens and closes around words that won’t come out.

When she comes closer he flinches, so she halts.

He is beautiful. His features are strange but together they make up the most fascinating face she’s ever seen. But it’s more than that.

Her lips turn into a tentative smile and her hand fidgets on her side, willing to reach out to him.

A loud noise of birds squawking behind her makes her turn around and when she looks again, he’s gone.

She scans her surroundings looking for him but can’t find him.

Why did he run away from her? And how? Where did he go?

Confused, she rubs her chest reflexively to abate the sudden feeling of loss that assaults her.

She’s a little hurt on top of everything. She remembers ghost stories and chuckles, incredulous at her own silly thoughts. Maybe she’s gone a little crazy after all. 

˜*˜

Rey’s week passes with her working herself to the bone as always. She keeps glancing at the street however, hoping to see him but he doesn’t show up.

The rides home with Finn are spent with her purposefully asking questions about him: how are classes going? Is that professor still giving you a hard time? How’s work?

He answers them all, his usual energy missing from his voice. He’s not mad at her, she knows, but there’s disappointment there and she wants to shove it away in a box, bury it and pour concrete over it.

Exhausted, she collapses on her couch, ready to spend hours just lying there.

But the string pulls at her for the first time in a week and she sits up.

The man is standing there in her living room where he wasn’t a second ago.

She screams and recoils, until her back painfully collides with the not so soft cushion of the arm of her couch.

He gasps and steps backwards, his hands in a defensive gesture.

“What… the fuck…” she breathes out. “How the fuck… how…”

He just stands there, looking startled and worried.

“How did you get into my apartment?” She yells.

“I-I… what? Apartment?” He mumbles.

“You just…” she hesitates, searching for the right word. “Popped up!”

“Y-you… you too… Every time.”

“What do you mean?” She says, exasperated, and rubs her back, groaning.

“You okay?” He asks.

She looks up, almost surprised at the question. “Yeah…”

She should be terrified at a guy who looks like he could break her in half with his bare hands that magically appeared in her living room.

But the feeling insists and pulls her to him and her body relaxes, the surprise being replaced by comfort and warmth. There’s not a trace of fear in her heart.

“Are you here?” He asks breathily, his eyes round and soft. “Are you here with me?”

She’s not sure what he means. “You’re here with me…” She answers just as softly.

“I can’t see your surroundings,” he says, looking around, then his brows rise when he focuses on her. “Just you.”

Puzzled and fascinated, Rey stares at him. “So… you’re not here?” She asks. “Where is here for you?”

His face falls and he gulps. But he has no time to answer because he simply vanishes into thin air.

That dull sadness hits her again, stronger than any shock at the fact that a person just disappeared in front of her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all who have read the first chapter. It means a lot to me that you are here.
> 
> This fic will update once a week on Fridays. If you wish, subscribe so you don’t miss any.
> 
> CW for this chapter: Prison, Masturbation (seriously Rey does it so much in this fic and honestly good for her)

“Are you just going to keep materializing in front of me like this every time?” A deep, serious voice asks from above her and she gasps, warmth blooming in her chest. 

“I’m not doing this.” Rey says from underneath her car, a grin breaching her lips.

“Neither am I.”

She slides herself forward, not at all surprised to see brown eyes curiously regarding her.

“Hi.” She whispers.

“Hi,” his lips curl into an almost grin but then his head tilts. “What are you doing?”

“I’m working on my car,” she says. “You really can’t see it?”

“No,” he says, his eyes dancing in the space in front of her. “Are you a mechanic?”

“Yep.” She answers, making the P pop. 

“That’s nice.” He says a little awkwardly, averting his gaze and doing this cute thing with his mouth where it looks like he’s chewing on his cheeks.

“Puts food on the table.” She sits up and shrugs, wiping her dirty hands on a cloth. “But this is my personal project. My old car broke down. Not the first time and for sure it won’t be the last. It’s an old piece of junk but I love it.”

She gets up and walks to the sink, feeling his eyes on her all the while. She likes how warm it makes her feel so she washes her hands for a little longer than necessary.

“What’s your name?” She hears his voice say.

“It’s Rey,” she says, drying her hands on her apron. His eyes brighten when she says it, and she’s delighted to see that his soft smile lingers on his lips. “Yours?”

“Ben.” 

It’s a common enough name and she wonders why her heart flutters when he says it.

“I thought you were a ghost at first,” he chuckles. “I thought I’d gone crazy for good.”

“I’m not a ghost,” Rey says with a grin, leaning against the sink. “But yeah, I thought I had lost my mind too.”

There’s a pause where his smile vanishes. “What is this? Why is this happening? And how?”

“I don’t know.”

Ben nods, looking pensive. “What does it feel like for you?”

It’s hard to put into words what she mostly feels. So she goes for a metaphor. “It feels like a string is tied to me,” she says, and he nods again, gaze lost. “And it’s constantly pulling me towards something. And you’re on the other end.”

“Yes, exactly...” his intense eyes are back on her. “It binds us, ties us together. And why do I have the feeling that I…” He hesitates, his mouth working again.

She gazes at him in anticipation.

“... that I know you.”

Rey lets out a small, excited gasp.

“But I don’t,” he continues. “Not at all.”

Her heart is beating so fast. She takes a step towards him. “I feel it too.”

His eyes are lighter, and he steps closer as well. He’s so tall that her head has to tilt upward to keep looking at him the closer he gets.

“Sorry I scared you.” He says.

“Mm?” She hums, busy regarding how much larger his frame is this close to her.

“That day… the first day.” He says, coming even closer, examining her face. “I was staring at you like a creep. I’m sorry.”

Another step and she peeks up at him through her lashes. “I wasn’t scared.” She replies, staring at his lips, wondering not for the first time exactly how soft they are.

He gulps and his eyes dance over her face. She’s close enough that she can better observe the moles on his pale skin, the waves of his hair and the hues of his irises. The warmth in her heart turns into joy. She’s dated guys before but this is the most intense moment she’s ever shared with anyone and yet all they’re doing is simply standing there, talking.

But something occurs to her.

“May I ask you a question?” Rey says.

“Yes.”

“Why do you wear the same clothes everyday?”

His face changes. His eyes fill with shame and he takes a step back, his shoulders slouching. He then averts his gaze and there’s a flush that covers his cheeks. 

She immediately chastises herself for having made him uncomfortable and she regrets having asked the question at all. 

“I don’t,” he answers before she can apologize, his doleful eyes back on hers. “It just looks that way because… I’m in prison.”

At first it doesn’t really register. But soon enough, a cold forms in her heart and slowly spreads across her entire body.

“Prison?” She whispers finally, more curious than shocked. But Ben looks absolutely contrite.

“Yes,” He confirms, his voice stable despite his evident shame. “This is the uniform of the inmates of Chandrila Penitentiary.”

Chandrila is so far from Jakku. Far enough north that you can’t really drive there and the weather is completely different. His heavy clothes make sense now, too warm for Jakku’s climate.

She has a thousand questions. Is he a bad person? Is she in danger? Is he going to hurt her? But by far the most important question is, what did he do?

She does't feel like she's in danger though, if anything, she feels the safest when she's with him.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his gaze falling again.

She feels the tugging in her chest and he disappears.

She sighs and rubs her face in frustration, wishing they had more time. She’s honestly not sure what to think about the fact that he’s in prison but when she examines her heart there’s nothing but compassion for him. Still, the questions remain in her mind. She figures she’ll ask him eventually although she’s not sure how to approach this kind of thing. How do you casually ask someone about a possibly terrible crime they committed?

Besides, the frustration comes mostly from the fact that all she wants is to keep on memorizing each and every beauty mark on his face, a much better use of their time together than asking uncomfortable questions. And would he let her touch his hair? She loves the colour and it looks so soft, and it puts her own boring brown hair to shame.

She enjoys the lingering feeling of joy his presence has brought to her. This connection they share is fascinating in its mystery. And so is Ben. She smiles secretly to know that he feels this as deeply as she does.

She can’t wait for the bond to connect them again.

***

He shows up sitting on her couch and when they lock eyes, she’s greeted with a sweet, dimpled smile and joy in his gaze, even if a little hesitant. Her heart flutters and she reciprocates.

“You’re here again.” She breathes out softly.

“So are you.” He licks his lips and swallows.

She gets up from the dinner table with a bowl of cereal in her hand and walks over to him, his eyes following her until she settles down on the couch beside him.

“Where are you now?” She asks.

“I’m at the prison’s library.” He says, clenching his jaw.

“Oh,” she grins playfully and says in a rushed tone. “You shouldn’t be talking then.”

“There’s no one here.” He smiles softly but then his eyes flicker to her legs. He quickly corrects it, but she doesn't miss it.

Rey’s in her favourite pair of shorts and top she wears on her days off. It’s a tank top that’s become too sheer due to years of use and the shorts barely cover her ass. She would never wear them in front of anyone but that self-consciousness doesn’t seem to apply to him. She likes his eyes on her. She wants him to look.

“Sorry,” he clears his throat. “This is your home and I’m intruding.”

“It’s okay,” she murmurs, her voice sounding too sweet. “It’s not your fault. And... I really don’t mind.” She adds, enjoying how that boldness makes her feel. His gaze is intense even when his amber eyes are nothing but soft.

“How old are you?” He suddenly asks.

“I’m twenty-one.”

He blinks in something that looks like disappointment. “You’re so young.” His voice a mere whisper.

She tilts her chin up. “I’m old enough.”

His throat works and he clenches his fists. The heat in her body intensifies and reaches her cheeks, but she doesn’t care.

Unfolding her legs from her cross legged position, Rey witnesses his control fail and he glances at them again, and Rey grins, her body relaxed.

“How old are you?” She asks him in return.

“Thirty-one.”

She’s genuinely surprised and her smile widens. “You look younger than that.”

He doesn’t comment and she wishes she could read his mind. He looks worried and has a restrained manner, one that feels forced. And something tells her that it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s in a library.

“Find anything interesting?

“Uh?”

“At the library?”

“Oh…” he clears his throat. “I’ve already read everything but, yeah…”

“You’ve read everything?” She chuckles.

“It’s not a big library…” he trails off when his gaze falls somewhere between her navel and her clavicule. He can barely disguise his nervousness, but it’s not unsettling, it’s endearing and, if Rey is going to be honest, titillating. No one has ever looked at her like this. “But this is where I spend most of my time so that’s why I’ve gone through the entire catalogue.”

“What else do you do in prison?” She tries to keep it casual but she’s not sure she’s succeeded because his face clouds a little.

“It’s either here, the gym or my cell.”

It’s evident he’s unwilling to elaborate, so she doesn’t insist. Still, she’s intensely curious.

All the while, their eyes haven’t left each other. His shy demeanour enchants her, especially because it contrasts so strongly with his size. She feels a little silly even, smiling at him with a dumb smile.

“I wonder how much time we have.”

“It’s been quick so far.” The way he says it indicates that he wishes it were the opposite of that. “Maybe there’s a pattern, but I can’t figure it out yet.”

Her cereal sits on her lap, forgotten. “Maybe there’s nothing to figure out… Maybe there is no explanation.”

“Maybe…” he parrots. “I do like it when you’re here. It’s a lot less lonely.”

Her heart tightens but she smiles. “Yes, I don’t feel alone when you’re here.” The truth said aloud is heavier and a quivering sigh leaves her lungs.

His sweet eyes become rounder than ever and the bottomless compassion she sees in them makes her want to cry. It’s all for her, and the joy of knowing that doesn’t fade away even after he does.

It’s becoming a habit of hers. To lie on her bed at night on the days they connect (and other days too) and imagine it’s his fingers instead of hers. Tonight’s theme is his mouth; what that soft, luscious mouth would be able to do to hers and other parts of her. She comes twice in a row, picturing his head between her legs and his lips on her clit, her cunt filled with his fingers.

She hoped that the orgasms would tire her enough but they’ve only made her more restless. She goes for a third time, turning on her stomach, calling his name, imagining he’s fucking her from behind.

Did he like her legs? It looked like he did. He would knead her thighs in his huge paws and hold onto them as he pounded against them. Maybe he would smack her ass. She would like that.

She comes again. It satisfies her body and leaves a nice buzz in her brain but she still can’t sleep.

Rey only falls asleep when she imagines him holding her.

***

Her newly fixed car roars as she pushes down the gas pedal, the cool night air making a mess out of her hair.

She drives on the empty road to the outlook, happy to be there again.

She takes in the breathtaking view, sitting on a blanket on the ground.

From afar the city doesn’t look so mean. It’s beautiful actually; nothing but bright lights making streaks into the horizon surrounded by the nothingness of the desert.

She thinks about Finn and how they used to come here together, and how he eventually grew out of it. How he grew out of many things they used to do. She ignores the part of herself that tells her that it’s actually her that is still holding onto old things.

She inhales the night air, shoving sad thoughts away.

The string pulls at her in a now familiar way and she smiles to herself.

Ben’s here.

She scoots over and pats the place beside her. With a sheepish smile, he sits down, cross legged.

“Where are you?” He asks.

“At the outlook,” she says. “I finally got my car fixed and now I can come here. I love it. It’s so quiet and peaceful.”

Ben nods, his eyes gazing into the horizon he can’t see.

“What can you see?” He asks.

Rey smiles. “My town, many lights, the sun is set but the sky is still orange in the west.”

His dreamy eyes sparkle. “Are there stars?”

“Yes, many,” she says. “The sky is clear. And later I bet I will be able to see the Milky Way too. The outlook is isolated enough from the city lights so in moonless nights, you can see everything.”

Ben closes his eyes and inhales. There’s a pang of hurt that hits her, seeing this sadness display so strongly on his face. She wishes she could take him to see the stars, but this is all she can give him.

She looks up. “Corona Borealis over there,” she points into the sky to one of the few groups of stars she can recognize. “And…” she looks around until she finds another. “Ursa Major too.”

Ben chuckles. “You know your constellations.”

“I know only a few,” she muses. “My brother and I used to come here to stargaze.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yeah…” She doesn’t continue, unwilling to give sad thoughts more room.

She gazes at the stars and he gazes at her.

“I haven’t seen the stars in…” he says absentmindedly but stops himself.

“Mm?” She says with an encouraging smile.

“Fourteen years…”

Rey lets out her breath and her heart feels so tight in her chest. “Fourteen years?”

Ben nods with downcast eyes.

“Is that how long you’ve been in prison?”

He nods again and his gaze falls to the ground. She feels so sorry for him. She does the math: he was seventeen when he was arrested. It’s a lifetime. And only the worst kind of crime can make someone so young go to jail for this long.

But once more she doesn’t ask.

“Tell me more about where you are,” he asks. “Please.”

She thanks him secretly for that change of subject. “Jakku was built in the middle of the desert, who knows why, but at night it becomes beautiful from afar. All these bright lights in the middle of nowhere. And the sunset is gorgeous. It’s the only time of the day where the weather gets tolerable.” She chuckles, feeling the cool air on her skin.

“I can… feel something,” he says, his face serious. “I feel a breeze.”

“You can feel it?” She asks, curious.

“Yes, but it comes and goes. It’s so strange.” He chuckles, brushing his hand on his arm. Rey follows his gesture with her eyes.

“I wonder if we could…” she whispers, her hand twitching at her side. “Touch…”

His gaze falls to her hand as she reaches it towards him and then back to her. He trembles a little but raises his own hand.

Their fingers hover over one another in a moment of suspense that seems to last forever, but when their fingertips finally meet, a powerful thill rushes through her entire body, raising the hairs on her skin and irradiating everywhere. It’s so strong it makes her gasp until it fizzles down to a dull drum in her ears and warmth in her heart.

“You’re here.” She gasps, tears welling up in her eyes. “You’re here with me.”

“I’m here,” his hand slides into hers and she grips it tightly. His smile widens and soon they’re both laughing at this discovery, still holding hands. “You’re not alone.” He whispers to her.

“Neither are you.” She says it back, knowing it’s true.

The fact that the bond allows them to touch each other is stunning, and she’s fascinated by the power of their connection once more. She’s almost euphoric.

Without letting go, she scoots closer and puts her other hand over his. His smile fades into a hopeful expression, and he covers her hand with his as well.

His hands are huge compared to hers and they engulf them in their warmth and softness. They’re like paws and hers are like thin twigs of a branch. But they fit together perfectly.

She grabs both of his hands and tilts them upwards. She traces his palms with her thumbs, feeling her callouses lightly scratch his skin. It’d be embarrassing to her that her hands are so rough but not now, because all she can feel is the touch of his skin on hers. So many possibilities are open to them now, and she begins to count them in her head.

But Ben looks worried.

“Do you want me to stop?” She asks.

With his eyes fixed on their combined hands, he breathes in and doesn’t answer, but he doesn't move his hands either. He gently closes his fingers on hers, caressing her skin just like she was doing to him.

They spend a long time like this. It’s chaste and kind of silly for two people to be laughing at their holding hands but to her it’s a splendid moment, another one she wants to safekeep in her heart.

She’s not alone. She really isn’t alone. She lets her eyes fall shut so she can feel him better.

But the next moment her hands are empty, and she opens her eyes, startled at the sudden change.

The feeling of loss she experiences every time he vanishes is hard to get used to.

**Author's Note:**

> You may find me on Twitter [@ceciliasheplin](https://twitter.com/ceciliasheplin) if you want to say hi.
> 
> Feedback and comments are appreciated!
> 
> 💫


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